Whether you're the type to lie down in front of the TV rather than exercise, smoking the last cigarette ... for six months or to panic because you have more nail biting, know that you're not alone. "People do not change their behavior," said Richard Earle, Director of the Canadian Institute of Stress and the Hans Selye Foundation. Why? It is human nature to resist change, even if we know that our lives would be improved. "Most of us prefer to go with the flow," he says and that is why it is often said that "the only human being for change is a baby who has the full coat! "
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We tend to predict failure, why?
Mr. Earle has used humor to explain why it is so difficult to change. In fact, this resistance is even more complex than one might think because of that other human characteristic common to all, whatever our culture or ethnic origin: the tendency to pessimism. "In every language spoken on Earth, the relationship between pessimistic and optimistic qualifiers is three against one," he says.
other words, we are better equipped, views linguistic, psychological and emotional, to focus our efforts on what can go wrong rather than go well. The result? Our motivation is crumbling before starting any change. "Is it any wonder that people lose all desire to continue? launches Mr. Earle. We have only seen the weight-loss programs that do not work or the range of gym equipment that collects dust in a corner of the house. "
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What inspired the change?
An important motivating factors is the discomfort. Much of what motivates or inspires people to change can be summarized in one word: illness. Most people do not change their behavior when they have a lot wrong or when they feel really uncomfortable, "says Earle who never forgets to ask this question to his patients," What pain or discomfort what made you change your behavior? "Jan Hill, Consultant dynamics of life in Toronto, confirms this account:" People suffer and endure until their situation becomes untenable, they then take the necessary steps to change their lifestyle. "This decision
usually coincides with a change in fundamental values. An example of someone who felt important to engage fully in a career and who now supports it is vital make time for friends, family, and herself.
usually coincides with a change in fundamental values. An example of someone who felt important to engage fully in a career and who now supports it is vital make time for friends, family, and herself.
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factor "M", the motivation must come from within The experts agree that motivation must come from inside. No blame, no reasoning or intimidation will not come to the end of a partner, a child or a boss who does not change. While the support of others is essential, only the person concerned may take appropriate action.
"If we change behavior just to please others, we risk having problems. It is much more likely that we will have a relapse during periods of stress, "says Ms Hill. Because the process of change is stressful in itself, it is much easier to succumb to temptation when suffering from fatigue, hunger or loneliness.
Ultimately, the key is to be truly motivated to have the factor "M," says Earle. He cites the example of a 50 year old man who, despite her rheumatoid arthritis, loved restoring old cars. Despite suffering more, he refused to stretching needed to warm his muscles, until, after doing some stretching exercises, he was able to slip more easily under his car. That was the trigger that has decided to enroll in yoga classes. "Do not try to motivate this man," says Earle. Only when he realized that the exercises did him good, he had the motivation to do them. It was from that moment he changed his mind. "
"If we change behavior just to please others, we risk having problems. It is much more likely that we will have a relapse during periods of stress, "says Ms Hill. Because the process of change is stressful in itself, it is much easier to succumb to temptation when suffering from fatigue, hunger or loneliness.
Ultimately, the key is to be truly motivated to have the factor "M," says Earle. He cites the example of a 50 year old man who, despite her rheumatoid arthritis, loved restoring old cars. Despite suffering more, he refused to stretching needed to warm his muscles, until, after doing some stretching exercises, he was able to slip more easily under his car. That was the trigger that has decided to enroll in yoga classes. "Do not try to motivate this man," says Earle. Only when he realized that the exercises did him good, he had the motivation to do them. It was from that moment he changed his mind. "
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support of others is essential should also know that any change may alter the relationship we have with our surroundings, especially with people who have the same bad habits like drinking alcohol, smoking or be inactive.
To help you maintain your new lifestyle, you bind a friendship with the people you meet at the club. Who knows, maybe you'll even be able to improve your relationships with loved ones who have often suffered from your absence at the table when you stay at the office too late.
You will also recognize those who support your new lifestyle and what you put sticks in the wheels. You will increase your chances of success by surrounding yourself with people who encourage you. After all, what could be more rewarding than seeing your child smile when they announce that instead of working late, you take them to see some baseball?
To help you maintain your new lifestyle, you bind a friendship with the people you meet at the club. Who knows, maybe you'll even be able to improve your relationships with loved ones who have often suffered from your absence at the table when you stay at the office too late.
You will also recognize those who support your new lifestyle and what you put sticks in the wheels. You will increase your chances of success by surrounding yourself with people who encourage you. After all, what could be more rewarding than seeing your child smile when they announce that instead of working late, you take them to see some baseball?
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More tips for encouraging change "Habits like the company," remarks Jan Hill. To reach the break you need to break the links between them. If you quit , for example, and had used to smoke a cigarette with a coffee, you must change it behavior: rather keep a journal or take the time to take a walk!
For your convenience, make a daily stock of your successes, or even try to visualize yourself in the process of achieving one of your dreams: to sail around the BVI; your autograph bestseller, etc..
For your convenience, make a daily stock of your successes, or even try to visualize yourself in the process of achieving one of your dreams: to sail around the BVI; your autograph bestseller, etc..
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Relapse: If you fail the first time ...
First, know that there is no shame in relapse. It is very difficult to change his lifestyle. Most people succumb to temptation at some point. The important thing is to not let this relapse (perhaps you've smoked a cigarette or eating a whole bag of chips), to convince you that you can not do it.
According to experts, a relapse can provide vital information on your degree of vulnerability. So learn a lesson, leave again on track and learn to manage future play. Through perseverance you will succeed. _________________________
According to experts, a relapse can provide vital information on your degree of vulnerability. So learn a lesson, leave again on track and learn to manage future play. Through perseverance you will succeed. _________________________
Posted July 7, 2005
This article was prepared by Kristin Jenkins, a journalist and editor of Toronto specializing in health and medicine.
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